Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Debut of Tuesday's Ten! Includes a Giveaway!!

Ahhh! We're soo excited about this new feature of ours we can hardly stand it!!

"Tuesday's Ten" features an author who takes the time to tell us....wait for it....TEN things about him or herself. We'll run them on....wait for it....TUESDAYS!

We think this will be a fun way to get a little bit of insight into the masterminds behind the stories we read. So, without futher adieu, we'd like to introduce you to Keith Melton:

I’m happy to be at the Book Nerds Across America Blog talking about myself—my very favorite subject right after shows starring giant robots fighting each other in big cities. Oh, and I’m giving away an epub copy of my newest comedy UF book, The Zero Dog War.

Ten Somewhat Unknown Things About Me In Completely Random Order

1) While driving at night on dark back roads in the hills of Oregon, all I can think about is how much it would suck to be abducted by aliens. Creeps me right out. Little bastards don’t even say please or even “I’ll call you.” Oh, I suppose hitting a deer would also ruin my night, but mostly I worry about aliens.

2) I repeatedly damage my wife’s non-stick cookware with forks and knifes, and yet she still loves me despite my inability to learn. That’s true love. Right, honey? … Right?

3) I spent all winter writing in a black fleece hoodie because I’m saving the planet by turning the thermostat down and freezing my ass off. I also wear fingerless gloves and rely on my laptop for warmth to stave off frostbite. But the planet, she is saved.

4) I write in two styles. Super-serious action-packed Urban Fantasy such as my book Blood Vice, the sequel, Ghost Soldiers (due out in July), and 9mm Blues (out in May). I also write completely absurd, zany, action-packed comedy Urban Fantasy such as my new book The Zero Dog War. Please notice and admire how subtle these plugs are.

5) I am not schizophrenic.

6) I have the best job in the world—which is being a father.

7) I once saw a shark in Mexico cruising through the cresting waves moments before I intended to run into the surf. However, it turned out to be a dolphin. A shark-dolphin, which also sounds more exciting.

8) I was disqualified from the championship round at a local Karate tournament for excessive contact. However, I maintain to this day that the guy rammed his head right into my fist in order to win. Well played, sir. Well played.

9) As a kid playing hide and seek in the mountains with people who should’ve known better, I once sprinted down the mountain slope toward “base” and on the way I invented momentum. In celebration of this significant invention, I rolled the rest of the way down the mountain. I stood up (after I rolled to a stop), dizzy but (luckily) unhurt and touched the base, winning the game. In some obscure way I’m certain this is a great metaphor for writing.

And yes, that mountain slope tumble probably accounts for a good deal of what’s wrong with me today.

10) I don’t like gelatin desserts. Anything Jello is an abomination to me. Jello shooters. Jello molds. Jello fruit cake. Country Fried Steak with Jello. God save us all.

All right, that’s ten. If you fell asleep and/or skimmed with extreme prejudice, please keep it secret to avoid dinging my bloated writer ego. ^_^

Thanks, Keith! Keith's latest book, The Zero Dog War, was released last month. I started to read it when I was flying back to Sydney and it is crazy! (I mean that in a good way, though :) AND -- you did read that right -- he's giving away a copy to a lucky reader! Use the form below to enter, and leave us some comments below that!


  1. Hoping to win this!!!!

  2. I love Keith's writing! After reading Blood Vice, I knew that I would continue to love what he wrote!

  3. @Wendy
    LoL, looks like your odds of winning are very, very good. ^_^

    Here's the secret talk behind the scenes at Book Nerds Across America:
    "I know. Let's invite Keith Melton. He'll draw some good traffic."
    "Great Idea! ... Wait, what? 2 comments! We see more net traffic than that on days when we *don't* post!"
    "Don't invite that guy back. I'm embarrassed for him."
    ::nodding:: "Let us never talk of him again."

    @Taking it One Book at a Time
    Thank you!

  4. LOL!

    Thanks for being such a willing guinea pig for our new feature, Keith! :)